Making Coffee & Other Life Decisions

Nov 30, 2018
3 min read

As I sleepily fumbled my way around the little kitchen at work this morning, scooping huge, sloppy spoonfuls of grounds into the coffee maker and praying to the Java Gods for a speedy percolation, it started to sink in -

It's November 30th.

December starts tomorrow.

I'm moving to a new city this weekend.

I'm starting a new job on Monday.

This year is going to be over in a month.

...seriously what the

H E C K, Y O U G U Y S.

I had no intentions for this year. No set plans, no hopes or dreams - my only real goal for 2018 was to, you know, stop almost dying..

Other than that, I was open to anything that life was going to throw at me in the new year. After 12 months of what seemed like constant crisis and chaos, I felt like I was finally equipped to handle whatever disaster came next. However, unsurprisingly (since I was actually feeling prepared) nothing happened.

Like, nothing at all.

No disasters, no crashes, no unexpected expenses, nothing!! So naturally, I just had to create a little stress for myself before 2019 struck, because...what else would I have to blog about...?

You might remember reading a couple months ago when I wrote about having to decline my acceptance to Grad school. It was a bummer, and definitely a bit of a setback, but at the end of the pity-party I realized that this wasn't all bad. If I'm being honest, I kinda rushed into the idea of beginning my Masters degree, but that's because it had made a lot of sense, given the situation.

The small town life has been so good to me, but with small town life has come small town schedules and let me tell you; *nobody* is in a hurry in a small town. I love my job in this little place, but this girl has ENERGY and that energy just isn't being met with equal enthusiasm or gusto here. So, filling my downtime with schooling seemed like an excellent solution, and more than enough reason to stay. But alas - my brilliant plans to stay crumbled, and the tiny gypsy inside of me was starting to wake up from her year-and-a-bit long slumber.

I took the change of plans as an opportunity to do a little "Jessica" audit: what experience do I have and where could it take me? What do I value about my current situation and what do I wish was different? Which areas of my life are still moving forward in full force, despite the other areas that seem to have been put on pause?

When it came down to it, my career and my relationship (career first though, because #FEMINISM) were the two most important and influential factors in my world, neither of which were really thriving with the way things were. Not that they were failing, either, but I was definitely feeling like I'd hit a wall at work, and if there was ONE SINGLE THING that I had become certain about in my life, it was that long distance relationships are the absolute worst and I sometimes actually believe that it would be easier to be alone forever than to live 184km away (but who's counting...) from my adorable boyfriend*.

I decided it was time to shake things up a bit.

*please note: I am WELL AWARE that 184km is peanuts compared to the distances that some couples have between them, but whether it's 184 or 400,000,184 - distance is distance and distance sucks - kindly try refraining from invalidating my feelings, I know I'm just being a big crybaby, thank you.

SO - I applied for a new job, got an interview, and then got an offer.

...it was not AT ALL as smooth as I'm making it sound, but for the sake of keeping you here until the end of the post, I've edited the real process - which included another job offer in a totally different place with housing arrangements and everything, only to take a different position in another completely different place confusing literally everyone and blah blah blah I'm a mess, what can I say...

We're at the point now where my parents don't even try to explain me to people, anymore.

"Hi Janet, how's Jessica doing, did the move to the coast go well?"

"She'll be settling in her new place in the north this weekend!"

"I thought you said she was moving to the coast?"

"She's a mess, what can I say..."

- probably a real conversation my mom has had

with someone who tries to keep track of me.

But despite the messy process, the end result feels r i g h t.

So, on to the next adventure - new job, new city, new emotional stability living in the same city as my most handsome partner and Starbucks...

Wish me luck!!

Jessica*.